Sadie's Revamp

We bought our beautiful Sadie back in 2017, soon after we purchased her we painted the exterior but didn’t do anything to the interior, we were way too keen to get on the road! If you’d like to read a blog post about the paint job, you can read it HERE!

I’ve always held strong to the belief that I didn’t want to update the interior, as I didn’t want to feel I had to keep the caravan neat and tidy on holiday. I also wanted the kids to run wild and us to relax and not have to worry about scuff marks on fresh paint. But the reality was that the previous owners had used a dark grey as the interior paint and black material for the curtains and lounge cushions and it felt very small and dark in there.

When we made the decision to travel around for a month, I really wanted to make sure it felt comfortable and homey for the kids - so finally took the plunge and did a mini makeover!

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I’ve included a little photo in there of Sadie before her exterior paint too, in case you’ve never seen one! The makeover has made a huge difference and I'm going to share with you what we did!

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First of all, we spent an evening removing all of the cupboards so that we could paint, I’m a fan of the original doors and cupboards and wanted to keep them. We chose a Dulux paint colour called “Mt Aspiring” and it took us a full day to complete the paint job.

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Jon is super handy and built me a brand new bookshelf (I’ve had plenty of you asking where I got it from, sorry to say he’s not up to custom building them!) He also built some beautiful shelves for above our double bed and above the kitchen sink, all using oak purchased from Bunnings. He custom made a little ladder for the kids to access the top bunk, previously they had climbed on the fridge to get up there!!

We also chose to leave the table out of the caravan for the time being, it really opens up the space and makes it a lot easier to move around in there!

I had the WONDERFULLY talented Karla from Wabi Sabi Interiors hand make the new curtains and backrest cushion. The curtains are made out of a canvas material and leather straps hold them in place, I wanted the curtains to roll up so that material wasn’t bunching up everywhere and to let in as much sunlight as possible ☼

We decided to go a neutral shade for the back rest to lighten things up. I’m still on the fence about changing the black cushions, I know exactly what I’d prefer but have heard it’s a little high maintenance! Keep your eyes peeled, there may be another post all about those cushions!!

Changing the linen to lighter colours really helped brighten everything up! We also changed some of the chrome features to gold to keep with the warmer tones. I made the macrame door hanging myself one rainy afternoon and it really adds a boho vibe to the van, it also doubles as the perfect fly screen!

We still have a few more things that we would like to change that I will be sharing with all of you when we get around to it, let me know if you have any questions or if you think i’ve missed something! I’d love to know what you think of our little renovation, we are a little in love with it!

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Safe & Happy Travels!

Pregnancy from Hell

Trigger Warning - This post discusses depression and suicidal thoughts.

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Hyperemesis Gravidarum is not morning sickness. And women aren’t over reacting or being dramatic when suffering from this condition, in fact a new study led by researchers at UCLA has identified two genes associated with HG - proving that its not “all in our heads” which is unfortunately a common accusation. When people ask me what it felt like I tell them to remember the worst seasickness they’ve ever experienced, or the most severe vomiting bug they’ve caught. Remember all of your neck and stomach muscles being sore from the constant strain, the slick of sweat all over your body, your eyes being bloodshot and teary and the little world you have to disappear into to try to hold back the vomiting, if only for a few seconds. Most of the time you only have to deal with that horrible sensation for a few hours or days maximum, women who suffer with HG have to deal with it day and night for months on end.

For me personally, I didn’t feel the medical profession knew enough or even cared enough to take my condition seriously. It took three months for a specialist to tell me I had HG, before that point I just kept presenting at emergency departments, getting IV anti nausea medication and fluids and sent on my way, no follow up plan, no explanation as to why I had vomited 80 times that day. I couldn’t be as proactive about my situation as I would have liked because I was horrendously sick. I had lost 15 kilos in the space of two weeks, I wasn’t able to brush my teeth without vomiting all over my toothbrush, I had to get my mum or husband to shower me because I was too weak. I was vomiting up bile and blood and I couldn’t escape the sickness that surrounded me 24/7 - I would vomit all day, give myself an extra dose of anti nausea medication and sleeping pills before bed so I could have an hour or two of sleep before having to be sick again all through the night. My body didn’t care that I had nothing left, I would dry heave for a solid half hour before I collapsed on the bathroom tiles crying, wishing I would die so it could be over.

Being in this state constantly can wreak havoc on your mental health, I had never suffered depression before my pregnancy but after a few weeks of being stuck in a never-ending cycle of vomiting I started to question whether I wanted to live anymore. Whether I could go on with this pregnancy that we had wanted so badly. Watching all of my friends fall pregnant and be able to actually leave their homes, to look glowing and radiant and continue on with their lives and careers while I spent my days popping pills, losing weight dramatically, looking pale and vacant and having anxiety about what the hell all of this medication was doing to our unborn child. My husband would come home from work and would have to clean every single bowl we owned, I would be sick in everything. He would find me lying on the cold tiles, not being able to clean up after myself, as that would just trigger more vomiting. I know people thought I was over reacting and being dramatic, not realising this is a very real condition and also not being present when everything was falling apart. It’s easy to assume someone is okay when they’re pumped full of drugs preventing them from vomiting.

Once my OBGYN diagnosed me with HG I was admitted to hospital for 3 days to be hooked up to an IV drip administering Ondansetron and fluids to give my body a chance to recover. I was then given the script for the Ondansetron wafers, unfortunately the wafers weren’t strong enough and I had to start weaning off them and begin taking a very high dose steroid. Once these started to kick in I began to feel better, not 100% though - I would say the remainder of my pregnancy felt similar to what I assume morning sickness would feel like.

We chose to go through all of that a second time to have our son, it wasn’t a decision we made lightly and we made sure we were as prepared as we could be. I also think I was in denial about the fact I would experience it as bad again. I had meetings with our OBGYN so I could have scripts ready to go for when I did start feeling sick, I moved in to my parents house for a few months so that Indie was looked after and I also asked family members to deliver homemade meals so that Jon was able to care for me and not worry about cooking. Even though I thought I was prepared, I hadn’t dealt with the psychological trauma from the first pregnancy. As soon as I started vomiting again I felt like I was in a big black tunnel, and that the light at the end was very, very far away. It was absolutely devastating to feel this way because we really wanted another baby, I felt angry and robbed of what should have been a wonderful experience.

During the pregnancy you’re so busy dealing with the immediate issues - getting your vomiting under control, trying not to overdose on your medication, hoping your veins don’t collapse, making sure your fluid intake is sufficient - you’re not actually able to think about your mental health very much. Once you’ve had your baby you’re expected to “perform” straight away, start a routine, learn to breastfeed and deal with the aftermath of the birth - it’s very easy to put yourself last. Everyone can look on and think you’re handling everything well, that the past is behind you and there’s no need for help in regards to what you went through in your pregnancy. I thought I was doing really well, but in actual fact I was in survival mode. After having River I had severe postnatal depression, I was extremely high functioning though and didn’t want to hear any ones concerns regarding my mental health.

Which brings me to why I am so passionate about sharing my experience with HG. The statistics state that the percentage of women suffering from this condition are very small. Through speaking out on my Instagram page I’ve connected with SO MANY women who’ve experienced HG, in my personal life I can count 6 names off the top of my head that have suffered from it. It begs the question, is it as rare as we are led to believe? Or is it a problem that only affects women - and with so many issues that come up surrounding women and motherhood, we are expected to be strong, not complain, be resilient and carry on no matter the cost. I was a very vacant mother and partner, a selfish family member and friend after going through my HG pregnancies. I felt like a shell of my former self, furthermore I felt that some people in my life didn’t truly recognize what I had experienced and had to endure, and I still hold some resentment. It can be very easy for people to write it off as bad morning sickness but downplaying this condition can have very serious implications and leave the person suffering to feel as though what they’re experiencing is not valid.

If I had of had more support from the medical profession I feel I would have been able to handle my situation better, I’ve compiled a list of things that could be helpful for a mother going through HG.

Once a woman is diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum they should be offered support not only by their family but also our government. The medication that they so desperately need should be on the PBS (Taking Zofran while I was pregnant cost us approx $500 PER WEEK.) Delivery of meals, a cleaner and a nurse to hook you up to IV fluid and anti nausea medication (if needed) should be offered.

Meal preparation is a HUGE issue. I know personally I couldn’t stand the smell of anything cooking; I lived on frozen coke and peas for weeks on end. My husband still had to go to work, my toddler still had to eat and I was incapable of preparing any meals for either of them, let alone anything for myself. Having meals delivered was amazing, and if you know of anyone suffering from HG this would be a massive help, because even if the mother cannot stomach the food, her family is so consumed with trying to juggle their day-to-day lives and having to care for a very sick person- preparing healthy food is at the bottom of the priority list.

If someone has been diagnosed with HG, they have a very serious illness. If you see them out and about and they appear somewhat normal, this could be because they have a whole cocktail of medication holding them together. It could have taken them HOURS to muster up the energy to leave the house. Comments like “have you tried ginger?” or “just take small sips of water” or “I know how you feel, I was a little queasy in my pregnancies” are not helpful and can make a mother feel misunderstood, and want to punch you in the face.

Talking and breathing can make a person suffering with HG sick. All I wanted to do was stare at a spot on the wall to concentrate on not vomiting again, (I once asked a flight attendant to move my husband to the other side of the plane so he couldn’t ask me if I was okay again!) eventually I found solace in reading articles on my phone and basically being in a complete bubble of distraction. We are not being lazy, we are literally focusing so hard and any distraction that forces us to use that energy to converse with someone completely obliterates the past hour and a half of staring at the goddamn wall.

Every single one of these mothers should be offered a mental health care plan, I still see a therapist and am dealing with everything that went on in both of my pregnancies. It took me far too long to seek help and I feel it should be offered as soon as someone is diagnosed with HG.

When I was going through my HG pregnancies I found a Facebook support group, it was so lovely to connect with other women going through the same issues and feeling validated and understood - if you’re suffering I can recommend finding a Facebook group as a great way to get some support. There is also a great website HER Foundation they are pioneers in HG education and research.

There are definitely major issues with how HG is treated, and a lot needs to change. Until it does try to remember that at the end of it all, you get an amazing little baby. And it can seem unfair that you’ve had to go to hell and back to get your miracle- but I think the end result is that little bit more special and amazing because you had to fight for it, you appreciate it that little bit more. If you’re in the midst of HG please know that you are not alone, even though it can be the most isolating experience. There are other mothers out there wanting to connect and share stories with you and offer support. If you are having dark thoughts about yourself or your baby, you are also not alone - but you need to speak to someone about it. You are not a bad person or an unfit mother for having these thoughts, but seeking professional help if you’re really struggling can be very helpful - I can speak from experience. Having other women on your side, understanding and listening to you can make an enormous positive impact on your mental health, please know my inbox is always open.

Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read this post, if you haven’t been through a HG pregnancy I hope it gives you an insight into how traumatic it can be and how to help someone if the need ever arises. If you’re currently going through a HG pregnancy I hope this post makes you feel validated and less alone - also, you’re amazing and you’re going to get through this. If you’ve survived a HG pregnancy I hope you have healed from it, both mentally and physically and never feel you need to keep your mouth shut if you want to discuss what you went through.

Hopefully if we can raise awareness on this issue our health system can become more efficient. Acknowledgement of the condition and having in-home support would make the world of difference for these mothers and families who are left to struggle and suffer alone.

Lots of love, Mia x

Becoming Thrifty

First things first - I’m not some money mogul and I don’t have a get rich quick scheme to sell you! I’m an every day person that has mortgage repayments and mouths to feed on the average Australian income. There are some amazing resources out there, but I wanted to share with you how we personally budget our money and how I was taught to save. Money is one of those things we’re not supposed to talk about, if you have money it can feel like you shouldn’t be talking about it - if you don’t have it you can wonder how the hell other people are able to accumulate all of their wealth.

Over the years people have asked me to help them do up budgets and it’s something that I really enjoy doing, I don’t think you should be ashamed of the fact that you’re a great saver - there is probably plenty of tips you can give to friends that would really appreciate your advice. For me it’s not about having the best of everything and stressing over how I can afford it, its about making sure we have enough to cover things we want to do in life - to get there sometimes means sacrifice.

I’m going to share with you how we did it, but keep in mind that everyones situation is different. We also started very young and the way we saved may not work for you - and thats fine! You can still use it as a guideline if you’d like.

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The reason we are financially secure is simple - we stay mindful of how we spend our money and set ourselves goals. I dropped out of school in year 10 to start my hairdressing apprenticeship, I had some money saved in the bank from birthday gifts and a part time job. The wage for hairdressing was pretty low, from memory as a first year apprentice I was paid around $5 an hour! I did have the benefit of living at my parents house rent free & I drove a car that ran on fumes but I was very strict on spending any of my money.

My savings weren’t dipped into when I needed to purchase my first car because my parents had set me a goal (believe it or not I was a very rebellious teen and was basically pulled out of school - I’m sure everyone thought I wouldn’t be able to save a cent) they promised that if I started saving they would match me dollar for dollar to buy my first car. Because I’m a determined and competitive little human I saved $10,000. Understandably they wouldn’t hand over 10k and purchased me an old $2,000 car instead - absolutely nothing to scoff at but hey, I was an entitled moody teen that wanted a 20k car! Luckily I didn’t spend my money on a depreciative asset and that incentive was a huge learning curve for me, all of a sudden I had a lot of money sitting in the bank and my parents encouraged me to start saving for a house. (PS - I drove that car around FOREVER! I didn’t care that it was ugly or that my friends had “cool cars” - Jon begged me to buy a new car when I fell pregnant because the old one was getting a little run down & unreliable.)

When Jon and I met, I (kind of forcefully) encouraged him to save too, I think any other guy would have walked away because I was a teeny tiny bit controlling, but he knew that I was determined to get somewhere in life and that I only wanted the best for us. We bought our first home together and absolutely worked our butts off to pay it off. I purchased a hairdressing salon and worked 6 days a week, Jon was working in the air conditioning trade 6 days a week also. We figured out how much we would need to deposit each week to be able to pay off our home in the time frame we wanted. So NO MATTER WHAT every single week I was depositing that money into our mortgage account, it meant no partying with friends, no boozing it up on the weekends, working overtime, being very strict with our grocery bill and basically cutting out anything that wasn’t a necessity. I realize that might sound like torture for some people but we had an end date, we knew that once we paid off our mortgage we would be able to relax and be in a position that not many young people find themselves in.

It was also great that we managed to do most of that before we had kids, because they change everything! I’m a lot more relaxed with money now that I’ve had children and realize you just can’t force them to miss out on things, it’s different when it’s just you - so parents please keep that in mind.

We basically go by the same structure now - set a goal (for us it’s paying off a mortgage, but it can be anything), work out a realistic amount to pay off each week, cut down on spending where we can and have an end date! We use a calculator like this one - online mortgage calculator to work out all of the numbers (just change the loan term to the time period that suits you) and do up a weekly budget to see where we can save some money!

That is our story and you don’t have to go as crazy as we did, in fact I wouldn’t recommend it! Ha! It was super stressful, so unless you’re determined as all hell, be easy on yourself. I felt like once we got ourselves into a comfortable position money wise we were able to start easing up on how strict we were. I definitely don’t regret making sacrifices like not buying lunch every day and not going out every weekend, and I’m sure if you are able to cull some things out of your life you won’t miss them once you start seeing the effect it has on your savings.

Click here to print out your own budget template!

Writing out a budget is a great way to sit down and see what you’re spending your money on, try to be 100% honest with yourself and your partner about your expenses. Once you are able to work out where all of your money is going, you can figure out ways to either lessen how much you’re spending (especially on bills, do some shopping around to find cheaper deals!) or cut that expense out completely. -

Things you can cull (at least for a while) -

  1. Netflix

  2. Spotify

  3. Entertainment (gigs, movies & dining out)

  4. Nails/hair

  5. Tattoos

  6. Expensive holidays (just check out my insta for all the cheap camping spots haha!)

  7. Your afterpay account

  8. Break up with your credit card

If you can’t afford it right now but don’t want to live without, consider some of these alternatives!

  • Instead of buying new clothes, host a clothes swap party with friends - this is something I do regularly and it is amazing! It’s a great chance to catch up with girlfriends and get a whole new FREE wardrobe! Also thrift shops is where I get 90% of my clothing - I normally don’t pay over $5 for an item of clothing and I have a killer wardrobe, don’t be afraid to buy second hand.

  • Scour Gumtree or Facebook marketplace for literally ANYTHING you need. We furnished 80% of our home with second hand furniture, it’s a really fun process!

  • If a gym membership is hurting the budget but you can’t live without it, consider downloading a free app - I use the Nike training app - it’s basically a free personal trainer and I add in a run outdoors so I’m soaking up all that vitamin D and happy endorphins! Or opt for a cheaper gym, I gave up my expensive gym membership for a fitness centre that costs $13 a week! I actually prefer the fitness centre as they have a lot of facilities & different classes.

  • Making a meal plan for each week can cut out a huge amount of cost! Plan what you will eat for the entire week and only shop for those meals - it saves a lot of wastage and stops you from splurging on items you don’t need. Opting for shopping at Aldi or your local fruit barn will help you save too.

  • Instead of spending a fortune on date nights and eating out you could romance your partner by taking them on a hike, a picnic or make them their favourite meal at home. Google free date ideas and get inventive!

  • Make enough dinner so theres always leftovers for lunch the next day. We do this ALL THE TIME and its a lifesaver. Buying lunch may seem like a small amount but it adds up over the year. Same goes for coffee, I know this may be your little treat for yourself but those caffeine hits don’t come cheap - limit the amount you buy and try to have your coffee at home.

  • If you’re going out with the kids - pack snacks and water bottles so you’re not pressured into buying them fast food. Same goes for tuck shop at school, my kids just don’t get it. I’ve explained why and that we are able to do other fun things (like family holidays) because we save that money.

  • Books, Movies, Magazines and kids craft and learning activities are all FREE at your local library - get on that!

  • Whenever you can, walk or ride your bike - we walk to school every day and ride our bike to local parks or cafes.

  • Christmas is a little different in our household. Our kids don’t get a million presents when they wake up, I try to limit the amount they receive, because as they get older the gifts seem to get more expensive & I don’t want them to always expect a mountain of presents. I also purchase almost everything for them from op-shops throughout the year, so that if there’s a particular thing that they need/want that is a bit more expensive, I’m able to purchase that one thing and not feel like I have to sell my soul. Our average total cost for the kids christmas presents is $150 - $200, its a number that is doable for us and I also feel we’re not overspending. We have also started a tradition of donating to a charity at Christmas time, Operation Smile is very close to our hearts, Rivers surgeon donates his time to this amazing charity and we had a year that family members could choose to donate to Operation Smile instead of doing Secret Santa - which resulted in 5 children having life changing surgery, how amazing is that!

Basically try to cut back on anything that isn’t a necessity, and if you don’t want to - try to find a cheaper alternative. When you’re not earning a huge wage sometimes sacrificing those things is a great way to get ahead. Once you’ve done the hustle you can start to relax a bit - hopefully those saving skills stay with you and you can remain in control of your money.

BIG LOVE

xx

Self Love and Cosmetic Surgery

PLEASE NOTE - since writing this blog I have since elected to have my breast implants removed. I will be keeping this blog post active as it’s still a part of my story and how I felt at the time of publishing it. For reasons I may share in the future I had them removed and am very happy with my decision. Please do your own research if you’re looking at having a breast augmentation. Asking your implanting surgeon isn’t exactly the best option, reading about BIA-ALCL, checking your implants on the TGA website, researching Breast Implant Illness and it’s many different forms is a great place to start. You do you, but make sure you make a well informed decision

I posted a photo on my Instagram account earlier this year about the fact that I had a breast augmentation. It’s something that not a lot of women feel the need to talk about, which is completely understandable, but I like to talk about everything - so here we are!

Cosmetic surgery is such a controversial subject and I felt I had to constantly defend my choice - not because people were being judgemental to my face, but because I was judging myself based on societies view on elective surgery. Society has made a huge shift towards self love, spirituality, feminism and body positivity, which is amazing! But I always felt there was an undercurrent of disapproval from all of the “woke” folks, that I must have low self esteem, don’t love myself and had to change my natural body to be happy. I’m going to fill you in on what lead me to having surgery & why it’s important to realise that we all deserve to make these choices without being judged.

If you’ve read previous posts you will know that I had a very difficult time throughout my pregnancies and suffered with Hypermesis Gravidarum. I was on a high dose of steroid to stop me from vomiting, which had the side effect of rapid weight gain. I breast fed my first born for 15 months and absolutely loved the bond we shared. My second baby was born with a cleft lip and palate and couldn’t breastfeed, I made the decision to pump full time for him until he was healed from his last surgery at 9 months old. Obviously this had a massive effect on my mental health, my sleep, my breasts and my weight. I was sitting down 90% of the time to pump and feed, I wasn’t able to attend many social events as I would have to bring all of my pumping equipment, special bottles, steriliser and all of the taping that bub required and my boobs were basically being sucked half way down a pump majority of the time. I was in survival mode for almost the entire first year of his life, all I kept thinking was that once he turned one he wouldn’t need my breast milk anymore and we could start to live life again.

Long story short, as soon as I stopped living in survival mode I completely shut down, I felt like a part of my personality had decided to check out for a while. I had such high anxiety and I felt I had too much energy, I joined a gym to help with that but I became obsessive. The weight started to fall off and I had never been so fit in my whole life. But I wasn’t happy - my marriage was suffering and I couldn’t engage with my kids because I was almost manic. When I looked at myself in the mirror I didn’t recognise the person staring back at me, I couldn’t connect with myself because I was acting like a stranger. I had felt so completely out of control for years that I found comfort in controlling myself, controlling how my body looked and trying to get it back to feeling like “me”. I had lost all of the baby weight and the only part of me that I couldn’t get back was my breasts. It wasn’t only the fact that pumping had made them smaller, every time I looked at them I thought of them as milk machines. I remembered the hours upon hours of pumping and it made me feel physically ill, I wasn’t even comfortable being naked in front of my husband. Pumping 8-10 times per day for 9 months had changed how I felt about my breasts and I felt I needed to do something to help me see them differently.

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I had the surgery in 2016 and absolutely love how they look, I feel so comfortable naked and am able to fill out clothes that would otherwise be gaping. I can honestly say that having the surgery has been life changing for me. In the first few months of having surgery there were a lot of articles coming out about Breast Implant Illness, and while I don’t discredit these women and their experiences, I haven’t had any issues as yet. It is important that we are aware of these things but also not let them change our personal experience. I started to freak out after hearing all of these stories and blamed a completely seperate health issue on my breast implants, after a few months I was able to determine that the health issue had nothing to do with the implants at all and was able to seek proper medical treatment instead of freaking out about having to have the implants removed.

I also questioned, is it spiritual to have cosmetic surgery? I’m not sure, but I feel spiritual and more connected with myself now than before the surgery. It’s almost like something clicked for me and I started to get well mentally after healing from the surgery. I stopped obsessively exercising and started to enjoy having a curvier figure, my relationship with my partner improved as I felt comfortable within myself again. Obviously these were all in conjunction with other things - seeing a therapist and starting to incorporate meditation and more self love practices into my life, but the difference within myself was what drove me to make those changes. The so called “perfect spiritual image” is just as judgemental and unattainable as the perfect physical body is.

I feel like you should be able to say yes to whatever you need in the moment, at that particular time in my life I wanted to feel sexy again, to feel feminine, to feel like myself again after years of giving up EVERYTHING to have my children. And when the time comes to have the implants replaced or removed I honestly feel I will have no issues having them removed later on in life, not because I don’t like them but because having them has really shifted how I view my body. Then again, I may want to rock a fuller chest till I’m 80! But it’s MY choice and I try to not let others opinions bother me. The only person who was living that nightmare was me, the only person that is allowed to make choices regarding my body is me. And above all - I need to make choices that make ME feel truly happy and whole.

Note for all of the men - when I’ve had an open discussion with men regarding breast implants, majority of them have stated that they don’t agree with breast implants, they prefer a “naturally” beautiful woman, they could never be with someone with breast implants, and the list goes on. But because of societies standards and ideas surrounding beauty- the natural beauty they want is not as natural as they perceive and certainly not inclusive of all bodies.

Men say they want natural beauty, girls that don’t wear makeup etc etc but then in the same turn women are expected to be hairless, nice skin, long hair, rosy cheeks- all things that’s don’t necessarily come naturally to everyone. Saying that natural beauty is better isn’t uplifting; it’s just another version of policing & judging women and the choices they make with their own bodies and appearance and perpetuating the importance of ‘beauty’. We set these super high standards of what is beautiful then crucify anyone that isn’t miraculously born that way and wants to attain it by other means-makeup, surgery, hair dye, whatever. If you’re reading this and you’re a male, I would like you to put yourself in my shoes (because I can only share my experience.) Imagine YOU are the one who has to carry a child, imagine YOUR body changing so much that it’s unrecognisable, imagine being unable to carry that child without a ridiculous amount of medication, but still feel like you’re stuck on a boat with the worst sea sickness ever for 9 WHOLE MONTHS. Then of course the joys of childbirth, feeding and no sleep ever. And after all that you’ve sacrificed you’re left with empty, saggy boobs. But because in real life you don’t have breasts, imagine it’s your penis. Your penis has shrunk to half it’s size, its shrivelled and saggy ALL THE TIME and just isn’t how you remember your beautiful penis to be pre kids! If you’re cool with your new but smaller penis, AWESOME. But if you’re not and you would like to have a very common procedure done that will help you feel more comfortable within yourself - you should be able to do that without any judgement. Just a little something to think about.

Wow, that was a lot more in depth than I had expected it to be, but I suppose I feel very passionate about this subject. Thank you for taking the time to read, don’t let others judgement bring you down - do what is right for you, because no one else has lived your experiences.

Mia xx

River

I have wanted to write about Rivers birth and finding out he would be born with a cleft lip and palate for a long time. When we were told at our 20 week scan that our second baby would be cleft affected we were in shock, there were also a lot of google searches that resulted in crying myself to sleep most nights. I want to share our story so that other families going through this can see that life has a funny way of working out and these beautiful babies will give you so much joy. Although the journey can be tough, it really highlights how strong and brave these children and their mothers are.

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I was working from home the night we received the phone call. My OBGYN called at around 7pm to tell me he was sorry, but the scans I had that day showed that our baby most likely had a cleft lip. I answered very casually that it was fine and I would book in to see him in a few days - obviously in shock.

The following months were full of some very expensive scans, endless specialist appointments and a lot of depressing conversations. Doctors brought up termination and the whole thing became extremely overwhelming, we were told that there was a risk of River having syndromes or anomalies associated with his cleft. We were given the option to have an amniocentesis but also informed of the risks involved and the chance of miscarriage, we decided against having the amnio after a lot of emotional conversations. River was also the last pregnancy I would be able to have, after going through two Hypermesis Gravidarum pregnancies we had made the decision that neither of us could go through another.

I had wanted a VBAC for my second birth but after meeting with my OBGYN, he persuaded me to book in for a c- section. At the time I felt a massive sense of loss, my entire pregnancy was traumatic, the birth wasn’t going to be how I had wanted and to top it all off I was informed that River would not be able to breastfeed - something that I really enjoyed with my firstborn. It was around this time that we met with Rivers surgeon, Dr Stuart Bade. For the first time I was made to feel that everything would be okay, he was confident that he would be able to fix Rivers cleft and that I had nothing to worry about. I will be forever grateful that we met with him before birth, as he put us completely at ease.

The c-section went well, the hospital in my opinion were overly cautious and I was only able to hold River for a few minutes before they took him away to the special care nursery. I was left alone to get stitched back up and spend a few hours in recovery, afterwards they wheeled me to my room. I expected I would be able to hold River or at least have him brought to the room but I was unable to walk after the surgery and they wouldn’t bring him to me. At the time I didn’t understand why they couldn’t bring him in and the following 8 days in hospital were extremely stressful as I was pumping every two hours and he was separated from me the entire time. Thinking about it now makes me emotional, and if I could change anything about this experience I would have had him in a larger hospital that would have been more experienced with children born with clefts.

After arriving home we had appointments straight away with his orthodontic team, he was fitted with a “NAM plate” which was to be a permanent fixture until his first surgery at 4 months old. The plate had to be washed after each feed and all of the taping holding it to his face needed to be changed around 3 times a day. On top of all of the taping and learning how to feed him with his special bottles I was pushing myself to express breast milk for him.

If I could go back in time I would have been a lot kinder to myself. We had to move into my parents home where River and I had our own bedroom, our days consisted of napping, pumping, feeding, sterilising everything, taping, rocking him back to sleep so that I had enough time to pump again before the next feed was due. This went on for 9 months, night and day all while I still had a toddler to look after. HOT TIP - I don’t recommend pushing yourself to the point of mental insanity because some nurse told you “breast is best.”

I was told that because River would be having surgeries on his mouth that breast milk would help with the healing process, his second surgery was at 8 months old so I was committed to pumping until he was healed from the second surgery. He would have been completely fine with formula, and I would have been a much less traumatised human at the end of the whole process had I not felt pressured into pumping. If you’re going through something similar please remember, other people have not been where you have and they do not get to make you feel guilty about the choices you make regarding your child.

The first surgery was a big one, 5 hours in total. When he came out of surgery I burst into tears, as strange as it sounds I missed his big cleft smile. I had fallen in love with him just as he was and even though I knew he would look different after the surgery it was a big shock to the system. We spent a week at the Mater hospital managing his pain and recovering, we also had to re-learn how to feed him as the post surgery teat was made of hard plastic and you have to be careful to not touch the stitches.

Life went on as normal - pumping and all, until his second surgery at 8 months old. This was to rebuild his palate, which is still hard for me to wrap my head around. I cannot praise Dr Bade enough, the results from these operations still blow my mind when I look back at photos. Recovery was very similar to the first, we spent the week in hospital managing pain with heavy medication and also trying to figure out how best to feed him.

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After the two surgeries we tried to get back to normal life, but it was hard. After having HG through two pregnancies, both births being c-sections and both babies having issues in their first year we hadn’t connected as a family or a couple for literally years. The whole process of having children was very different to how I imagined it to be and I was suffering from post natal depression. The entire experience felt like we were just surviving each day and not enjoying or even living life, I would recommend anyone struggling to seek help from a professional. I started talking to a therapist and made sure I vented to my girlfriends and let everyone around me know how I was feeling.

After a bit of work I started to feel better and I came to appreciate the experiences we had been through instead of feeling bitter about it. River is a beautiful, kind, gentle and funny little boy and I absolutely love the one on one time we get to spend together whenever he has a specialist appointment. We will usually make a day of it and invite my mum along and go out to lunch together, anything to make these appointments fun and something special for him.

Looking back now I can’t believe I was ever worried about him or how we would handle all of the surgeries and appointments. River takes everything in his stride and we are so lucky to live where we do, the cleft team at Lady Cilento are amazing and I look forward to the journey ahead and how it will shape him. If you have any questions please let me know, I would love to hear from any parents going through the same x

Our Thrifty Home

We do have a home that isn’t on wheels and whenever I post photos on Instagram of it I am always bombarded with messages of how everyone loves the style. Anyone who knows me knows I love a good bargain, and majority of the furniture that makes up our home has been purchased second hand. I thought I would write a little post about how I have managed to furnish our entire home for a few hundred dollars, and some simple steps so you can do the same!

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Our house is brand new, and there were particular things I wanted to splurge on - hardwood timber floors, large windows and doors, a beautiful kitchen and quality finishings in the bathrooms. I figured I would make up for my splurge items by trawling the internet for bargains to furnish it! A girlfriend shared a very helpful tip with me - using Power Point to be able to visually see all of the pieces I wanted to purchase together before I bought them. I would find the furniture I loved, make a little mood board on Power Point and then try to find the same or similar on Gumtree or Facebook marketplace. I’m going to share some photos of our home with descriptions of where I sourced all of the furniture - enjoy!

We purchased the kitchen pendants from Early Settler while they were having a huge sale and bar stools from Kmart, I keep most of our appliances in the butlers pantry so that the kitchen (for the most part) stays clear of clutter.

We found a beautiful silky oak side board in an antique store for $200, I use it to store all of our second hand books - my collection is a little out of control. There is an op shop near us that has fill a bag of books for $2, lord help me.

The lounge room has our West Elm couch that I found on Gumtree, we didn’t get it dirt cheap but saved around $500 off retail price. The vintage pretzel chair is my all time favourite find - for $100! I had it recovered by a local small business and my father in law re-varnished it for us. It is beautiful!

Indies bed was gifted to us by my Aunty, and Rivers bed was $20 on Facebook marketplace. Both kids have a lot of second hand books, free or cheap artwork and handmade items filling their rooms. Their entire closet is hand me downs, op shop finds or sale items, I really love the process of finding clothes that are pre loved, it gives me a rush to find beautiful items for a fraction of the cost and I also feel its more sustainable.

Our upstairs lounge pictured was purchased brand new from Freedom, it was from our previous house and works so well with everything in the new house. I’m always asked where our rugs are from, I purchased the pink downstairs rug from Miss Amara Loves and then entered a competition of theirs to win an extra rug - I won! I have wanted an authentic persian rug for as long as I can remember, but our budget wouldn’t allow for it. I fell in love with the pink and the price of the Miss Amara rug, they have free shipping and a great return policy! Not sponsored, just a very happy customer!

Most of our artwork I find online and have it printed at Officeworks and purchase frames from Kmart. I also have a lot of dried palms for decoration in woven baskets, I just ask friends or family that have beautiful gardens if I can have their leftovers after pruning. Jons grandfather was into fossicking and we have a lot of the crystals he found scattered around our home, along with some amazing shells from our travels.

Our King size mattress was a freebie, the side tables were $10 each from an op shop - we just painted them black and purchased cute little handles for them. Our guest room has a gorgeous cane bed head I picked up from Facebook for really cheap (under $50 from memory!) And I found a cactus print for our front entry from a local shop having a clear out sale, it was $50 and already framed.

Our pool area has an outdoor shower, the shower rail is from the house that was originally on the block and Jon built the backing with leftover timber from the demolition - basically the whole thing was free. I purchased our dining table when I was 12 years old haha! I always wanted to get married and have babies young, I started planning domestic bliss after finding this dining table at a garage sale. (I still maintain I’m not an OCD weirdo.)

So remember - try to think of a style you love and use Pinterest or Instagram for some inspiration. Go ahead and plan each room out in PowerPoint, you can use images of your old furniture to see if it works well with anything new you’re wanting to buy. Then start tracking down a second hand version of what you want, another bonus of planning it out this way was that I didn’t buy anything I didn’t need. I hope this little post inspires you to go “treasure hunting” at your local op shop and know that you can create beautiful spaces on a budget!

The Beginning

We picked up our 1971 Viscount Ambassador for $5,800 on Gumtree after having many late night conversations about wanting to holiday as a family without it costing a fortune. This blog post is titled “renovation” but really we didn’t have to do much work to Sadie other than the external paint, for those of you that are interested in what we have done, and also what we got for our 5k, read on…

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At 47 years old Sadie had good bones, the previous owners had enjoyed caravanning with their young kids and had done quite a lot of work to keep her going including installing solar panels, LED lighting, extending the drawbar, rust treatment, painting the interior and re-upholstering the seats. We were very lucky and have encountered no issues with water damage, rust or any of the other common problems that pop up with caravans of this age. If you were looking into purchasing a second hand caravan some things that we made sure to check were -

  • any signs of rust

  • that the frame looked solid

  • all windows and frames are secure

  • water damage (leaks are very common)

  • tow ball and security chains are in good condition

Obviously majority of older vans have any number of these issues, it’s up to you to decide your ability to fix these issues yourself or how much it would cost to repair. The main damage in our case was from hail which we didn’t care about - we actually think it adds some character!

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 One day we would love to completely re-vamp the old girl but for now she suits us perfectly. I’m normally a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to keeping our house in order, with two small kids this can sometimes be impossible and a little stress inducing. The whole point of buying the caravan was so that we could reconnect as a family and spend quality time together, which is made a whole lot easier with everything being a little old and dated. The kids can run wild in there and no one has to stress out over the little messes they love to make.

My dad has an aircraft refurbishment business - very handy whenever you need to paint anything! We were able to sneak the caravan in there one weekend to spray paint, it took my brother and husband approx two days to complete the job. We know a few people who have rollered their vans, but we decided to spray as we had easy access to all of the equipment.  We purchased auto paint from a local supplier and at the time older vans weren’t as popular as they are now and I’d not seen a mint green one with a “V” I was in love with all of the progress shots the boys were sending through!

Other than that, our caravan has had nothing else done to it. I’d say all up we spent a little over $6,000 on the purchase price and paint costs which we’re so happy with. We have had so many wonderful adventures, most of which have been very cost effective or completely free. Our van definitely delivered the goods, we’re now able to holiday in some of the most beautiful areas in Australia for a fraction of the cost of holiday apartments.

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So if an older caravan sounds appealing to you, I say go for it! You’ll be happy you did!

Big Love

Mia